PUNISHED

"For everyone that i loved, i punished.."

Back then I was so dependent with you. In all things and plans, you are with me to direct.
I got my price and it is my freedom. And with this price I was decieved. Then I was lost.

For when that day that I said my prayer loudly, someone heard it other than you, I know.
And he is very decieving. And it is never your fault, for the freedom to choose what is right lead me to no choice but to be captured by my own comfort.
It a crossroad and It was a deceitfull one.

Carrying much burden than I could carry, my life is a real difficult than what it should be. And for a long time, I know, you are there and offering both of your arms. But I said that I could make it alone and hide from you. For I feel so much shame to tell you. I hide though I am so much aware that you know all those things. I am so hardheaded.

And then came a time, that I know i cant do anymore for I am DYING..
You held my hand and remind me that you are my LAST HOPE..

Let the Pain Remain

I.
Love comes, love goes,
But a sudden feeling never lets me be
Somehow I know
Quite a part of me isn;t changed
Since you've been gone

Like sturdy tree
That's seen a thousand seasona,
I've shed my leaves in winter
To grow them back in spring
To welcome life again
To welcome you
So goes my life;
Still believe in dreams of having you around

II.
Too bad mem'ries
Feed the mind and not the heart
Where I want you to be
So I ask myself what you have left behind for me
To go on each day to live
As if I have you once again
What else is there that's real
But all the pain that I feel?

Chorus:
So let the pain remain forever in my heart
For ev'ry throb it brings
Is one more moment spent with you
I let the pain, bring on the rain
If that's the only way, if there's no other way
To be with you again..

repeat II
repeat chorus

..If that's the only way
(if that's the only way)
(If there's no other way)
To be with you again..

A BREACH on a WALL

Time's up.
It quite a long time since I said that I will keep myself inside my imaginary wall.
Too tired with my silentness that separated me from my real world.
For years, I been playing it safe and far from them.
Yeah. Honestly it is such a pride that I maintained it that long.
For lately I realized that the wall I built to keep the sadness is also keeping away the joy.
And I hold on to that principle that no one can hurt me until they knew about it.
I been living a lie.
Now, I have decided to give it up..

I also have the right to feel what they are feeling..for I am human.
I deserved to be sad yet I also deserve to be happy.
Though I know, it would not be that easy, for there are people whom I will hurt as I am also hurting myself since then.

But the pain worth it.

The wall in which a long time ago is STRONG..is now breached.
And I watched patiently if there's someone who has enough courage to bring it down.
And it is so sad to see that there are many weak than strong. Or maybe, they dont deserve it.

Now, I watched in full amazement, with unfroze heart, for this person who is so weak, but has enough courage to bring down my pride..and convince me to at least give it a try..

For I my mind and my stupid pride really cant understand it..but my heart knows it well..
Speaking of LOVE, is it UNCONDITIONAL and no specifications set..everyone deserves it-just like me :-)

You

(Dedicated to a new friend)

You by Basil Valdez

I.
You give me hope,
The strength, the will to keep on;
No one else can make feel this way
And only you
Can bring out all the best I can do;
I believe you turn the tide
And make me feel real good inside

II.
You pushed me up
When I'm about to give up'
You're on my side when no one seems to listen
And if you go
You know the tears can't help but show
You'll break this heart and tear it apart;
Then suddenly the madness starts

Chorus:
It's your smile
Your face, your lips that I miss,
Those sweet little eyes that stare at me
And make me say,
I'm with you through all the way.

'Cause it's you
Who fills the emptiness in me;
It changes ev'rything , you see,
When I know I've got you with me

repeat II
repeat Chorus twice

Two Wine in a Glass

A sad fact that I learned recently for two months of depression,
(Yes I can honestly say), that it is the so called LOVE that burdened too much my shoulder.
A days and night of neverending pain.
Lossing my senses, I went my everday souless and heartless.
Thanks that it had just PASSED.
Too many letters to confide how sad and how hard to be on that situation.
For I tasted the bitterness of love recently.
But now I am here holding the same glass filled with the same wine, but the bitterness were vanished with its sweetness.

And I am beginning to like it but I know that it may end so soon..so I am making the moment last in my dreams.
Tonight, I know I will have the most peacefull sleep of my LIFE..:-)

ECHOES: Walking the Talk

Lately, i have this thing in which i realized, for people around me taught great lessons far more than my soul understand. It always feel good to learn these things and I found so gratefull for them who let me understand and see and hear these stuff.

1. RESPECT: He that donot know how to respect others because he himself were having no respect to himself.
He cant give it to others because he himself lacks it.

2. LOVE and SEX: Sex ofcourse is not love. For it is ONLY take charge of the reproduction while love is the stopper for someone to stop the tiredfull search. Love is far more than pleasure. It is far more than obligation. Far more than PAIN. The more you fall into the more you het hurt-BUT-its worth it.

3. OBEDIENCE: Nobody cant follow a leader who has no obedience to his teachings and rules. If He cant WALK the TALK, then, He is not worthy to be followed.

4. SENSE of Humor: All things must be in the right place and time, else it LOSSES its value.

:-)

BLANK PAGES

I been writing since then, for more than 10 years now.
Poems, short stories, haikus about my everyday life and moments.
For writing is my souls way to communicate.
I wrote several things about love and romance, friendship and family.
Yet, writing sad pieces were among the best stuff that i wrote.
Sad life, sadness, emptiness, pain, mournfull moments, sacrifices were among themes.

I been writing anywhere.
Some old notebooks i found lately were having notes which i made almost more than 8 years then.
It always interest me to read those familiar lines that rhymes at the end.
It a song of my soul and I know was born with it.

Today, I am planning to purchase a hard covered notebook to write more of my sad songs.
But, i have check some of my old notes with still half of the pages untouched.

Maybe I could use some those pages nowadays to write more pieces :-)