My
heart suffers alot
NOT
by the
VIOLENCE
of other people
but by the
SILENCE
of my
DEAR ones.

Time to Rest

06/25/10

Friday

CVL from June 26 to June 30.

I. So what am I supposed to do with this LONG DAYS at HOME?

II. I got 3 ANGELS today O:-)

1. an angel saved me from being late with his cutie wheels..

2. an Angel of Happiness..not a new angel to mention but glad that he's there always.

3. An Angel of Gratitude, who says hes happy that someone appreciate the good little deeds.

Thank you all for being there.

It will be a long vacation and i supposed to be with my nanay and tatay in Bicol yet with my little penny,

I can afford nothing but HAPPINESS away from sickness.

Thank you my ANGELS for always being there.

I thank GOD for meeting you this day.

An Angels Kiss Part2

"..For where YOU go,

I will GO.."

This is a big decision I had made on the first day I decided to be with ypu.

I know that it is MORe than FEELINGS..

It is a decision of LOVE.

It is deciding to be there, COME what may..

It is a decision to sacrifice, it needed. It is

CHOOSING to re-decide it ALL over tomorrow and the

NEXT day and NEXT...

An Angel's Kiss

Someone, somewhere

is thinking of you.

And that's ME.

I think about you each MORNING.

Had you eaten your breakfast?

And in each LUNCh, I am still thinking,

if you eat well.

And when its time for you to sleep,

I cant help but to look at you.

If ONLY i can touch your face..

and share each TEARS

that roll down your CHEEKS..

I WANT to tell you that

EVERYTHING will be ALRIGHT.

I am CRYING because YOU are crying.

I LOVES you very MUCH.

You are the APPLE of my EYES

but HOW can I LET you KNOW about this?

When you dont EVEN care to TALK with ME?

I sit beside you everyday.

In a silent space and empty halls

I am always there and it FEELS

so SAD that I cant EVEN TALK with YOU..

I patiently WAITING for you

To TALK with ME..

And TELL me ALL your HURTS..

And I want To TELL you, too

That it HURTS me so BAD

to SEE you in your LONELINESS..

My DEAREST friend,

When you was BORN,

I was BORN with YOU.

Your HAPPINESS is MY HAPPINESS

You SADNESS is my MISERY

and ALL i WANT to DO

ALL my LIFe

IS to LET you FEEL..you are IMPORTANT to ME

SAD PART....

I dont know

WHY

but

BLOGGING

SAD

messages

adds

HAPPINESS to

my SAD

SOUL...:-(

Love NEVER

DIES in natural DEATH..

it DIES because

we DONT know how

to REPLENISH its

SOURCE..

It dies in BLINDNESS

and Errors and BETRAYALS..

It dies in ILLNESS and WOUNDS..

it DIES of WEARINESS..

of WITHERING..

and TARNISHING...:-(

How

SAD

to see

a man with

MONEY and

NO

JOY..

A man

who studied

ECONOMICS

but

NEVER

studied

HAPPINESS...

Over and OVer..

Doubted Angel

11/28/08 6:46pm

She kneel on silent acceptance,

Her head bowed down in submission

With her weak wings beside her

Bore more heaviness on her shoulders..

She looked as if no one is there,

She passed so silently in fear

and she cares so much Not to get notice

as if to convince herself that she never exist.

She went her way and no one dare

to ask if shes OK

For she smile and pretend she is..

When i saw her i felt great sadness

With her eyes that reflects all my fear and doubt

With her wings that never as white as is should be..

I looked her and she looked pass through me..

And i found my self in deep sadness again......

A Bunch of Sadness

I always ask

God

to FORGIVE me

from my

evil THOUGHTS and

SHORT temper

but

RARELY

I ever ASK HIM

to FORGIVE me

on my

SADness

KIM JUNG HOON

Oppa..Saranghaeyo!

SAD SONG

KIM JUNG HOON

I'm going to sing this sad song for you..my love

(Lu lu lu lu lu lu lu-)

mata hitotsu asaga kite, bokuno karada wa

kiminoinai sekaini narete yukuyokan

BIRuno madoni sashimo kinirono SUNLIGHT

kimiga maiasa miteta kagami terasuyo

Itsudatte soudatta

TEEBURUno ueni

wasurete yuku kuse

You were everything

just EVERYTHING I had

hanaku kiete ita tooku

You were everything

and someone I DIE for

ushinau kotono imiwo shirinagara

baby hitoride ikite yukuyo

Shiawasetoiu tane wo, kono heya chuuni

kimiwa egao tomoni maite kuretane

hitori kirino kosareta

bokuno namidewa nanimo sakanaiyo (oh)

You were EVERYTHING

Just everything I HAD

dorehou tewo nobashitemo todokanai

BABY futari no anohi biniwa

Kurekaeshi itta I LOVE YOU

Sayonarawo jikan shittetayori

notto hoshikunaru

(Yeah..yeah..yeah..)

You were my everuthing

(You were everything)

Just everything I had

kokorowa kimini aeru bashouhe

You were everything

and SOMEONE I DIE for ushinu

kotono IMIWO shirigara

BABY hitoride ikite yukoyo

(Lu lu lu lu lu lu lu -)

I FIND by LOSING YOU

I hold fast by Letting GO
I become something NEW by ceasing to be something OLD.
This seems to be close to the HEART of that MYSTERY.
I know NO MORE now than I ever DID about the FAR side
of DEATH as the LETTING-GO of ALL,
But NOW
I know that I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW,
and that I DO NOT need
to be AFRAID of NOT knowing
for
GOD KNOWS...

and that is
ALL that MATTERS...

Letting Go

There are things that i want to let go of, and people i never want to leave behind.

But i want to understand that letting GO ISN'T the END of the WORLD..but

a BEGINNING of a NEW LIFE..

To let GO

is NOT to be in the middle arranging all the OUTCOMES

BUT to ALLOW others to affect their DESTINIES

TO let GO is not to be protective,

it's to PERMIT another to FACE reality.

To LET GO is NOT to DENY

but to ACCEPT.

To let go is NOT to NAG, scold or ARGUE

but instead to search out MY OWN shortcomings and CORRECT them.

To let GO is not to adjust everything to my DESIRES,

but to take each day as it COMES and CHERISH myself in it.

TO let go is NOT to criticize or REGULATE ANYBODY,

but to try to become what I DREAM to be.

To Let GO is NOT to regret the PAST

but to GROW and LIVE for the future

TO let GO is to FEAR Less and to LOVE more

To let GO is to let GOD, is to find peace...

Sad Truth

When the door of HAPPINESS closes,

Another OPENS but OFTENtimes

we LOOK so LONG at the closed door that we dont SEE

the ONE which has been OPENED for us...

maybe GOD wants us

to MEET a few WRONG people before

meeting the RIGHT ONE

so that when we FINALLY meet

the right PERSON

we will KNOW how to be GRATEFULL

for that GIFT...

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is a time for everthing
and a season for every activity under heaven..

a time to WEEP..
a time to mourn..
a time to scatter stones..
..and a time to refrain
..and a time to GIVE UP
a time to tear..
a time to be silent
a time to love
...and a time for PEACE

:-( sad

When everyone asleep

I had a bad dream last night.
I saw a vivid scene of a man and woman in tragic death.
The scene is so real. I got a child of about 2-4 years old beside me.
I cant identify if the child is a girl or boy but the child is looking at me.
The child wears nothing but blood.

It's weird, in that dream the dead bodies wrapped in leaves and sacks was my parents but there was no scene that i am crying, i am just looking at the dead bodies..

Then I woke up..its 4:36AM.
Too early to take a bath so i close my eyes again..until 5:15am.

I remembered the movie which i watched last Sunday, "Species"..

:-) hehehe yan kasi kakapanood ko ng horror...

Holding On

Its hard to hold on to something that you know would NEVER be yours in any way you think so you just have to LEARN to LET GO and face the fact that while good things never last..some dont even start..

A Song for a Sad Soul

Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sad Afternoon

I spent my time cleaning up my FB.
It was all that messed. Deleted my profile pix and albums. Changed my account name.

I was hesitant what should be my new account name: ofcourse, not my name again.
Sad that I have to. But I should.

So i type a new name..and after four hours.. Sad Angel was born..
Sad, that i have to closed my FB account.
But i chose to kill that girl..and let Sad Angel came to life through my old FB account..

***********************************
I should be HOME now

I should not be crying now, if only I am home..because its my mother's birthday :-(