Back then, I wish that our bonds must be cut-off.
Temporarily, it felt good until i feel that our relationship is suffocating and more controlling.
I persistently demolish the fact that i need you.
You are too heavy to carry but as a shield, i began to feel a comfort when you're beside me.
I bleed but you tell me that its okay as long as we're together..and i know you are right.
We play silently and alone on my room. So silent that even the closest person to me did not even notice it.
When I went to school, we agreed that that you wil be left behind.
When I went home, you agreed to stay away from me so that my family wont know.
Yeah its hard for you but thank you that you just sticked to the plan.
For two years, our relationship grow too fast that i thought you are indeed a good friend.
In you, all my fear, discouragement, frustrations were hiden from their criticism and greater expectation.
One weekend, while i was alone you said that maybe we can have a very memorable moment.
I maybe out of mind then that i almost did a biggest mistake of my life.
Again, i saw myself bleeding but i didnt think of other things but to escape with you.
1 day and two nights, I stare in infinity of time.
I saw my soul departed from my body as familiar faces cries around me.
But fate really is cruel, i dont deserve to end up my life that simple-i wake up the next day.
Graduation past and i got a job in which i am still now.
For 7.6 years, were together, invisible and free from criticism.
I must thank you for not leaving me.
Some says I am different but I laugh it off.
yeah, I laugh it off, because they are all the same.
Some says I am good, and it feels so good to hear.
For I made a great effort to hide you.
For I dont want them to see my invisible wound.
Some says i dont have any reason to have you beside me.
Because they dont really know what we've been through.
You and I, my friend, is a powerfull shield against invaders who dont have other intention but to hurt us.
For i want to keep up with peoples great expectation.
And I take pride that i am standing still despite the wound i have in the most vital part of my being-my heart.
I leave my life alone and i must be strong for i am still breathing despite the bleeding of my soul.
I understand that i am not living for my own.
I am living for my family- and that is the most important thing.
I must survive-for you said that we must be together until the end.
Each day, I feel more and more of you and i am getting sicked of my life.
To be honest, this is the reason why i go to sleep too early.
That my mind rest in quietness of night, even for only few hours.
But dont worry i am yours still because we're bestfriend, right?
"Pain and Jane foever"
No comments:
Post a Comment